How to Find Meaning in Life

I’m almost 22, and with the dawn of the double duo digits, I find myself as a new grad drowning in the job search shenanigans and fresh from a break up with someone I’m still, frankly, very in love with.

Slap that on top of the overthinker in me, and we have a pretty thick existential sandwich that has sent me down some pretty impressive spirals.

To ponder the meaningless of life is incredibly valid. Everyone does it at SOME point in their lives, and it really is quite easy to just slip into that sense of inevitability.

But, before you read on, give yourself a tight hug, because if you’re wondering about this, you’re possibly feeling very alone or purposeless or experiencing so much tumult that you literally can’t help but wonder, “Why? What’s the point?” And sometimes, also, you just feel … tired. Not excited. And that’s really hard to deal with too.

And so, I would like to share with you a gentle list of things you can do to gradually draw yourself out of your rut.

Pay attention to the little things

Life can be repetitive and predictable, but at its heart, it’s chaotic and wild and beautiful even in its tamest moments.

You can start by noting the texture of your shirt on your skin. Enjoy the very right feeling of your foot slipping into your shoe and the security that comes with a firm and well-practiced knot.

The sky is never the same. The weather is never the same. Note the color of the sky. Note the breeze and whether it’s strong enough to ruffle your hair, whether it’s blowing from East or West.

Sometimes I see the same people on my morning commute, and it feels like I’m seeing an old friend of sorts aaaaaaaand oh! Brown hair tall girl is wearing VERY pretty earrings! I wonder if they’re new! I pass the same restaurants, but it’s so fun to pick out their scent from the bustling layers of the city. Can I smell the bread? Ooh yes, and how nice and fresh it smells. Can I smell the coffee? Yup, that warm and bitter tang of freshly percolated brew wraps around me for a moment before – Wow, that soup is niiiiiiice.

Make a game of it, until you start romanticizing even the most ordinary aspects of your life.

Even annoying moments: I wonder what song goes to the beat of that jackhammer. Wow that sewage smell really reminds of that fantasy book I read about an orphan boy … UGH someone bumped into me – HMMMM AM I THE NEW MAIN CHARACTER OF A – maybe not but I can dream …

Find something that excites you and makes you want to get up in the morning

If it’s your job, lucky you! If it’s your SO, amazing! For those with neither, it can be something smaller, like a pet.

Yes, even a chia pet.

For a while, it was my ex until I got blindsided, and I will always miss waking up with a smile because I knew I’d get to talk to him.

For those going through something similar, just know that 1) you have company (me) and 2) there’s going to be a period of time where absolutely everything looks gray and dull but know that there’s a light at the end of that tunnel.

I’m still looking for it too! But I’m trusting it’s there. There is ALWAYS going to be something that can pique your interest that can eventually lead to excitement. After all, it’s a process!

You can start with baby interests! Like, I want to go on a walk in the park. It doesn’t sound very interesting, but being at the park could lead you to spot something that makes your brain go “o o h c o o l.”

I personally really like handwriting, so sometimes I’ll Google different fonts and see if I can copy it by hand. My roommate likes cooking, so she’ll look up different recipes and hype herself up about making a new dish. My super senior cat with a wacky meow gets SUPER excited for water.

My older sister likes video games! My younger sister adores mind-bending quotes from lengthy tomes! My friend loves to do math equations in his spare time! My other friend loves gross medical facts!

These really aren’t things that you might normally think of when you open up your eyes first thing in the morning like “Wow, I’m so well-rested. I’m so glad I’m alive so I can look up gross medical facts.” But, I’m personally so glad I exist if only that I can reshare these gross medical facts and savor the expression of my victim friend.

The appreciate little things is also really important about just developing excitement. When I wake up, I get really excited to brush my teeth (morning mouth is nasty need I say more) so I can have that tingly, fresh, clean feeling (with Crest!). It’s a very tiny thing, but it’s something I get excited about, and that excitement can roll into the rest of your day.

Remember that making a difference doesn’t have to be big

There was a pretty popular quote about animal rescue back in the day about how saving a dog won’t change the world, but by your actions, their world is changed forever.

Often times we aren’t actually aware of how our actions affect the world, and things we do casually can actually have a huge impact. This can range from small compliments, or warning someone that their car is about to be towed, or listening and being there for someone, or even just throwing trash in the proper trash cans.

It can seem inconsequential in a sea of negativity, but by performing these micro-interactions, you just helped contribute to making the world a better place. GO YOU!

When it comes to careers and feeling lost about how your career isn’t impacting the world positively – that can be a pretty hard question to answer. If it’s a very neutral type of job, think about volunteering on the side! If you’re, for example, lobbying for climate change laws and feel hopeless, know that you ARE making a difference, it’s just not very visible, and change is very slow to come. The fact you’re part of it is amazing and I applaud and love you for it.

With young folks like myself, it’s hard not to think about how much change we SHOULD be enacting while we’re saddled with things such as student debt, paying mad expensive rent, feeding ourselves while not really knowing how to cook, and scrambling trying to find a job in a time where they need 5 years of experience for an entry-level position.

However, sometimes you just need time. To grow, to build capital, to actually figure out what your passion(s) are. Once you find stability, you will be more able to enact the change that you want, whether it’s through being able to take a slightly lower-paying job in something you’re ACTUALLY passionate about, or being able to donate to something you think is a really good cause.

Just know that hard times pass, and this rut is a rut you will get through. STRUT THROUGH THE RUT!

So again … 

It’s really hard not to think about how meaningless life is. Maybe you won’t be remembered for the ages and you won’t be famous, but you can still be happy and you can still make a difference. The important part is that we keep trying and that we don’t give up.

Once you start seeing the beauty in the world, hope can start flooding back and make you feel more passionate about being part of that vibrancy that is LIFE. Life only becomes meaningful when you start finding meaning.

And yes, the world is depressing especially with all the stuff going on that makes you want to hide for 582538 years.

However, as my professor once said, the BEST thing you can do is keep the people you love as close as possible and sow seeds of what YOU want to see more of in the world.

 

Peace + a hug that reminds you of hot cocoa,

Erica